26th September 2018

The 7pm News is read by EJ. Tonights headlines: BONG! New Warm ups: BONG! Lay-ups to 10 : BONG!Traffic accident :BONG  Blue Russian defects: BONG Black baskets wins tournament :
Team 1. In Blue, Shirley, Nancy, Andreea, Louise versus Team 2. in Black, Gill Laurie, Sarita and Sally. The game started with a Brexit jump-ball. Gill was the first to score twice in a row before the apposing party questioned Mrs May’s gloBALL market tactics.  Our Blue correspondent Andreea was the next to score from afar. Reports that a high ball from outside the 3 point line was the ticket to her new referendum.  News flash!: The Black team were the first to score 7 and therefore won the first round. Newscaster EJ moves the teams around. Russian Blue Spy Shirley Defects and shoots for the other team. Long tall Sally is moved to join the Blue party, mission to man Sarita. We will be back after this commercial water-break. Breaking news: woman basketball player grows 4 inches in height in one week, deflecting all blue baskets. On lookers report ‘this is disaster for the blue team’. Traffic News: Accident on Key-roundabout grey-haired women was thrown to the floor after a collision with a skip lorry. Police are looking for any further information to this crisis.
The Sports news:  look away now if you do not want to know the score: Black team win with 3 games in hand.
Last but not least Fluffy bunny saved from tree top by local fireman.
Thank you for listening to this weeks report, we will see you next week for more breaking news on the basketball court. QB
tball court. QB

19th September 2019

To help the practising Jews over their fast of Yom Kipper tonights 2 teams:
The Smoked Kippers in a Orange Jue (Sarita, Louise, Gill and Tulay) Versus the Black Pudding’s in Black (Sally, Dania, Laurie and Lisa)
Sarita won the jump using a smoked screen &?got the first basket of the game. Coach Jo started the 24 second count down as the ball passed from head to tail, Louise caught the ball and on the 23 second managed to chuck the fish in the net. The first game of 1st t to 7 was won by the Kippers at a staggering 7-1. Game 2: Sarita haddock the ball and dropped it into the net. The Pickled herrings were roll mopping into the lead. Jo Screamed Cut! and mixed up the bowl. Lisa swopped with Tulay and the game started to turn.  The pigs in black blankets started to fly! Sally sizzle’d in the pan as she intercepted the ball and got it straight into the stye. Dania turned to Pate as she lay(ed)up to the plate. 1,2, 3 baskets in a row, then a foul and 2 throws from the free throw line. Dania (again) Sally, Lisa, and Tulay smelt something fishy, they were all fouled and took shots from the free throw line. Oink Oink Chorizo! The Black pud’s won the next round, now their tails were curling. Jo called Jump, travel, fouls and time. Miracle baskets were made by Laurie, Lisa, Dania, Gill and Sally. At 20.01 Jo blew the whistle for quick last round of shots. A banquet of a game. See you all next Wednesday Badabing stupendo!

12th September 2018

Happy New Year to all!
2 teams: The Chinese New year versus the Jewish new year, Which is better Let God decide.
The Chinese: 6 Signs of the Zodiac in Gold (Louise Monkey, Sally Rooster, Shirley Rabbit, Lisa Tiger, Laurie Dog and Gill Goat ) versus The Jewish New Year 5 Bearded ladies in Black! (Sarita, Dania, Tulay, Andreea, and Nancy)
Chief Rabbi Josephine blew the Shofar and the game began with a 24 second rule.
Lucky Rabbit was the first to score followed by the Rooster. Rubbing their beards together the Rabbi’s upped their game. Sarita took the service and Bang a rogue ball flew straight into her head. Rooster Sally set off Fire crackers for the Zodiacs to win the first game of first to 6. Game 2 The Bearded ladies curled their ringlets and bounced into action. Another surprise ball to Sarita’s head! Dania was fouled by a Monkey and took 2 from the free throw. Laurie year of the dog should have gone to Specsavers but then WOWED everyone with a amazing golden basket. The Rabbi’s prayers were answered as they whipped threw the torah. Chanting as a jump ball was called between Rabbi D and The Tiger. Another foul called on Sarita taking the Rabbi’s into the lead. At 7.45 The Rabbit ran off early leaving the Zodiacs Sub free. Rabbi Andreea was blessed with her basketmaking until swapping sides with the Dog.
At 8pm Chief Rabbi Josephine Blow the Shofar once more to close the service. It’s true! God choose the Jewish New Year to win! It was a fix!
All home to cut cake! Have a sweet and prosperous new year.

5 September 2018

Today we celebrate Freddie Mercurys 72th Birthday. Jo Mercury was the evenings coach.  The 2 teams.
The Killer Queens in Blue (Louise, Sally Sarita, Laurie and Andreea) versus the Radio Ga Ga’s in Purple (Feddi, Shirley, Tulay, Nancy)
Laurie wanted to break free and was the first to score. Jo took the mic singing directions.  Pass the ball anyway the wind blows, doesn’t matter ..To ME TO ME! Sarita was next to score. The Blue were leading with 5 on their side. The Purple with only 4 backing singers, ‘Is this the real life or is this just fantasy’ Feddi Open your eyes and took to the sky and scores.  Sarita took the lead guitar and started to Rock. We are the Champions of the court she wrestled the mic from Jo Mercury, easy come easy go little high a little low. Feddi the great pretender danced to the right moving through the defence. Heavy metal marking Sarita took 2 from the free throw line. Jo turned the amp up wore purple now we were 5 aside. I want it all said Sally as she scored. Your my best friend said Andreea and the Blues were leading. Don’t stop me now I am having a good time said Shirley as she was fouled. Nancy needed somebody to love as she was surrounded by Freddy impersonators. Tulay May got great rebounds. At 8pm, It was too late the time has come, it sends shivers down my spine, Goodbye everybody We’ve got to go, leave you all behind and fade away
Mamma  Ooeoeoeoe Well see you all next Wednesday. Take a bow