22nd January 2020

Two Crazy cats entered the Den at 8.27 to find 2 teams…that’s Cool for Kats!
The Persian Blues, Sally, Lisa, Fedi, Nancy, Andreea Versus The Purple Bengal’s Dania, Rie, Laurie, Gill, Tulay.
Feline Feddi was like a kitten possessed, paw’ing the ball wherever it landed, springing into action, shooting, pulling, no one stood a chance until Officer Jo Dibble blew her whistle and called Subs! Lifting her tail high Sarita joined the Bengal’s and the cat-fight for the ball began. ‘Pass the ball’ Called Officer Dibble as Feline Itchy the Scratchy didn’t pass!  A team forfeit of sit-ups or lunges from each tabby. Fedi was back on her hot in roof. Andreea Lloyd Webber took the ball to the ally…. purring as she scored. Love cat Tulay prowled round the net blocking and catching rebounds. Lisa Sylvester used her hight to catch the ball and use the back board! MEOW! Sally had 9 lives, facilitating her team mates to pass and score. Fie like Mr Jinxs slipped them in from under the net. Nancy got the cream and the ball! Laurie smiled like the Cheshire cat with her 1 score of the night. Dania coughed up 2 fur balls from the free throw line. Gill crazed with cat-nip leaped from the bushes to the net. Despite the lucky Bengal’s go cats, the Persian blue’s were the cats whiskers and winners of the night.  8pm Time for a cat nap! A top night from 12 Top cats!

15th January 2020

The Canadian Winter sports started immediately with layups, warm ups and most importantly the Royal Basketball Protocol of fouling, Charging, Can’adian’s and cant’s. Josephine made the Badabrexit of 2 teams, 7.19 pm Sarita and Andreea Flew in on business class.

In Green, Frogmore Cottage, Louise, Sally, Sarita, Gill, Andreea versus In Red The Maple leaf of Vancouver, Dania, Nancy, Lisa, Feddi, Tulay.

Red Lisa won the jump, Green Gill was 1st to score, followed by Andreea and Louise, score 3-0. 1st on the leader board for Red was Lisa, this started a landslide for the red mounties. Dania with her sweet maple syrup touch and Nancy making a break for Quebecxit. French Canadian Fadi travelled before scoring, Sally and Sarita Windsor’ed up the court passing, shooting like wild-boar at Sandringham carrying the Mountbatten for the Green team.

Game 2, Red scored first leaving Sally paying the high price for Royal secruity. Fouled Dania took from the free throw, while Sarita toronto’ed 1 in after a run in with Lisa, no arm done. Game 3. We saw a Red Lettuce sandwich and a stuffed moose, also we witnessed a marvellous steal from Brian Adreea Prince of thieves. 8pm Megxit got to live with the common people leaving the rest of us tortured by Celine Dion

8th January 2020

9 x Christmas puddings entered the Hall. Immediate Shooting and lay-up drills. 7.12 pm Coach Josephine took the floor organising weaves and choosing both teams. 7.17pm Sarita made it 10!

The Jam Roly Poly’s in Purple, Sarita, Gill, Laurie, Dania, Andreea versus the Blueberry Mince Pies, Louise, Lisa, Feddi, Tulay and Nancy. Feddi was first to find the lucky 6d, followed by Sarita holding the horse shoe. The scores were neck and neck. Gill thrilled, Tulay was Fly! Lisa lit up the Christmas pud and left Jo hanging on a high 5! Game 1 The Blues.

Game 2 brought in the new decade 2020, Sarita’s Roarers in Purple v Feddi’s Flappers in Blue. Dania Screened and Screamed for her teammates, Laurie used her Jazz hands. Nancy was fastest to the net. Sarita toasted in the new year with a jammed finger. Andreea took the free throw…3rd time lucky.. was her NY resolution. Josephine joined the game! Still the Blue Party Animals won.

Game 3 The hangovers kicked in with the knackered January Blues. Dry January Lou couldn’t see the basket for the The Purple ‘The Lean Mean Basketmaking Machines’ ! At last a win for the Purple vegan rolls!. What a Fabulous start to the year! See you all next week for a slimmer fitter trimmer game of wonderful basketball.

Apologies from the 2 ghost of Christmas passed Sally and Shirley



18th December 2019

Eleven OAP’s dithered into the home at 7pm. Nurse Josephine organised 2 teams after shooting and warm up drills. The Red Capsules, Feddi, Sally, Louise, Lisa, Laurie and the Green Suppositories, Di, Gill, Tulay, Rhonda & Andreea. 

Lisa was the first to pop and swallow a pill for the Greens, followed by laying one up was Red Fed. The Red teams blood was pumping as they took the lead.  
7.27pm Sarita sauntered in making it 12 players. Nurse Jo moved the teams around moving Louise to Red and Sarita to Green…Louise’s sedatives kicked in…not knowing who she was marking or which way she was running. Fed supplied Sound advice ‘follow your man’ and ’to pass easy’
Rhonda got something in her eye and went off to the Red Cross. 
The reds won the first 2 games and maybe the 3rd, I don’t know, I can’t remember! it all was a blur. 8pm Coach Jo rounded up the old timers as they made their way to ‘Shangri la’ Shirley’s retirement home for their Christmas party!.. where they met bad back Nancy. They were feed, watered and given certificates for their past quests. Louise loved her Westward Cardigan from the old gals and her basketball cup from Coach Jo.
It was lovely to see Nurse Marta who turned up to help with the infirm.
See you all in the new year 2020!
Q…Who am I?

11th December 2019

The Polling Station opened at 7pm. Councillor Jo waved a red flag getting us into lines, weaves, and voting practice.
This ‘Is your time to make a Change’ Vote carefully Jo advised. The Parties. Conservatives in Blue, Louise, Sally Fie, Shirley, Nancy versus Labour in Red, Feddi, Laurie, Gill, Tulay, Lisa.

Jo lowered the flag. May the best party win! Laurie caught the ball from the jump and drove it forward, the votes changed, it was Blue, it was Red. At last Red Fed scored. Then Lisa using the back ballot box turned the scores to 3-0.

At 7.27pm Sarita changed the balance. The Lib Dem subbed then joined the Conservatives.

YAY The Blue found their BO JO! Lou Tore-up the court and made it 3-1. Sally took 3 more seats, the Blues over took the red party… SUB!

‘Blues on Gill’ Shouted Shirley! As Gill Cor-Binned one in. The Polls were neck and neck, Gill and Louise Held the ball. The results Jo Swing-son-ing from Blue to Red. 7.57pm Both parties were distracted. Louise Foraged a load of abuse and was reprimanded by councillor Jo. 8.00pm Time to stop Brexit!  Article 50 was revoked! C U All next Wednesday, Drinks and Bing surprise fun after play.

4th December 2019

All gathered in London this week for the Nato Summit. First passing drills followed by 3 Teams all on the attack, the Trump’s, Boris’s and Macron’s. Picked by tallest to shortest, The Orange Trumpetts 5. Louise, Lisa, Feddi, Laurie and Fie versus The 4 Purple Royals. Tulay, Andreea, Nancy and Gill. Lisa won the jump Fie was the first to score. Stars and Strikes! The Ball was flying back and forth though the score board hardly moved till Greta Fediberg surfed the wave for climate change taking the Trumpetts in the lead. Gill retaliated with a Royal wave, ‘One’ in Purple had at last scored. Tulay gave a Royal bow. “One had scored another” Nancy found her voice calling to Princess Anne-dreea for the ball.
Trumps entourage were wind powered for energy efficiency. Louise stepped down, leaving 4 aside. Greta Fediberg swopped sides with Princess Anne-dreea. Negotiations continued with nether side winning. Exhausted both teams threw their balls at the net with no conclusion just distracted by a on looker sitting on the side warming up waiting for the boys to arrive.
8pm came Prince Andrew was relived of his duties and Trump had to return to his residence.
See you all next week for more trafficking and basketball!

27th November 2019

7pm Coach Ian Jo Jury had got us running, shooting and weaving. New Boots and Panties was the theme.

2 teams. The 4 Bossy Boots in Red, Feddi, Shirley, Lisa, Andreea versus the The 5 Droopy Draws in Blue Louise, Laurie, Tulay, Gill, Sarita. Tulay won the jump and knicker elastic’ed the ball to Laurie, who harpooned it into the basket. Tulay’s high legs made a wedgie basket.

Lisa with party shoes, tippy toeing her team onto the leader board. Coach Jo Jury Hit us with her rhythm stick! ‘Listen up! Make Space, Blockheads and Cut!‘ Feddi with her running shoes, got the reds on track Billerricay Dickie the reds had found their feet.

7.25 Sarita joined the Droopy Draws, pulled up her pants and Clever Trevour Reasons to be cheerful game 3. Gill ding dong used her thong! While Andreea got her shots thigh high.

Sarita saved the team with a ball in her face and was sent to Knickerblockerglory! Leading her dirties into the laundry basket. Shirley scored with a split crutched bad knee. Reds played Sole to Sole, while the droopy’s got their knickers in a twist.

Rebook and Nike! Cobblers! it was 8pm!  See you all next week for more Sex drugs and rock and roll

20th November 2019

We were down in the sand dunes without a coach. The desert seemed bleak. After quick drills. 2 teams. The Golden Scorpions, Louise Sally, Laurie, and Gill versus The sacred Scarabs in green, Nancy, Tulay, Shirley and Fie.

Sally started with the ball. Gilly was first to score. The Golden girls were on fire. Game 1 to the Scorpions, it’s not Pharaoh said Shirley, Sarita Tutankhamun appeared & joined the Greens. The treasure changed sides. Water was scarce, Sally saw a mirage. Quick water break. Laurie played Mummy to Mummy ruining Shirley’s game. Game 2 to the Scarabs. Tut Tut Sarita swopped sides. Game 3 a sting from the Scorpions tale.

Tonights Shooting star was Louise for beating her personal best. The Desert Storm award to Fierce Fie welcome to the team.

6th November 2019

Coach Tina Turner’d up early to the Thunderdome. Shooting drills to start, followed by a 3 on 3 degrees defence game.

The 2 teams were. The 5 Proud Mary’s in Red, Lisa, Sarita, Andreea, Gill and Louise  verses the 4 Acid Queens in Blue, Fed, Nancy, Sally, Laurie.

Lisa and Sally jostled at the Jump. The first 2 baskets to red. Then de Do run run de Do Run Run went the Blues. The Proud Mary’s kept on rolling but the Acid Queens kept on Scoring. Easy Easy listening said Fedi, STFU whistled Tina as she lost her Nut bush! ‘We don’t need another hero! Use your golden eye, Separate & make space’.

Sally ‘mountain high’ knocked Louise off the no.1 spot, with her ankle ‘river deep strain’. Full of 2nd hand emotion Louise sat out.  Red win.

Game 2. Louise returned. Fedi screeched to her backing singers ‘who’s running for money!’ Laurie Scored. Gill held back. Nancy Scored! Coach Tina blasted at Lisa ‘Hit the back board’ She did! What’s love got to do with it! Boom! it was 8pm.

Simply the best! said the winning reds 2 games to 0.

30th October 2019


Its 7pm and the planes are circling with last minute flight cancellations and unexpected passengers. The session started with an important announcement from Pilot Jo, for not making last weeks schedule.
At 7.05 the safety drills began. 7.21. 2 Teams. The Private Jets, Louise, Lisa, Dania, Tulay in Pink Versus the Flying Jumbo’s Sarita, Gill, Shirley and Laurie, in Black. Lisa won the jump landing the first 2-3 baskets. Shirley was next on the tarmac. Tulay looped to looped 3 in a row.
The pinks had control of the skies. Brace Brace! Sarita took command of the traffic control tower putting her Red (Black)Arrows in formation, taking over the whole Aerospace. Dania requested an emergency landing…Easy Jet! said Sarita as she stole the rebound. The score now 6-6. Black wins. The Runway was busy with flights backing up. Gilly started circling stalling Louise’s take off. Jo flew in from Cameroon helping the Pinks find their spacing. Dania ran along the wing to score. Laurie got 1 in.  Shirley Taxi’ed to the basket. Game 2 to blacks. Game 3 ended with a crash landing, Boeing 747 was the score…The Blacks king of the skies.

The control tower read 21.00hrs. With all fuel burnt out we left the airport. See you all next Wednesday!

23 October 2019

We need a Coach!  Call the Police Jo is missing!

Tonight’s red faces were, Sally, Dania, Di, Lisa, Laurie, Shirley against Nancy, Fedi, Andrea, Gilly, Rhonda. We tried to ref but we didn’t have a whistle, so it was really difficult. It was a great game with a spectacular shot by Laurie.

Apologies ladies I’m not gonna make it in good time sorry to hear the facilities were not ready, make sure you all enjoy the session I’ll make it up to you all next week!

Coach JO

16 October 2019

Crime scene 13.

2 Rival gangs see you in court. The Maida Black-Mailers in Blue, Gill, Lisa, Shirley Sarita, Di, Andreea, Nancy. Versus  the Vipers of Little Venice in Red. Louise, Dania, Tulay, Fadi, Sally,  Laurie.

After shooting drills and defence crimes the Game began. Superintendent Jo threw the ball. Lisa won the jump, Di intercepted result 1st murder. Within a minute Sally’s fast break murder 2. Fadi lead poled the way, easy passes, she was everywhere.

1 Blew off and Sarita was on. Shots were fired. Tulay took control of the ball. Dania ran in Red, Blue Nancy was killing it. Body count game 1 to the Red vipers . Di took a knife in the back and hit the floor. Shirley took 2 from the chalk line. Super Jo flashed the blue light! ‘travel’  We paid the penalty 24 seconds. Andreea played the ball low with a death wish. Laurie was fast but Gill was faster. Game 2 to Blue Blackmailers.

20.00 hrs Helicopters circled and the Sirens sounded. See you all next Wednesday for No crime or reason just funtastic play!

9th October 2019/ No coach!

We won the lottery with 13 players on Yom Kippur!
2 teams. The Donkey Paws, in Green Lisa, Di, Nancy, Andreea, AK, Tulay, Versus the Monkey Jaws in Plum Feddi, Sally, Sarita, Gill Laurie, Louise and Renee. Renee floated down from the Euro Millions rollover a excellent player giving everyone a run for their money! Lisa scored twice in a row EEYORE for the Donkeys!  Cheeky Monkey Feddi was next! The Green were in the lead then the Monkeys found their tail, swinging balls into the net at a rapid rate. Andreea retaliated with some amazing far shots. Ak catching rebounds, then popping them in. Monkey Sarita Joined the team and win-win. Di excelled herself catching and shooting. Subbing was smooth, 3 minutes per player and double for the plums. With no water breaks or stopping this worked well. Laurie got her 1 golden basket. Gill flew her fair share, Nancy too. Sally gave solid defence. The plums They were wining the postcode lottery. There was a few snatches and a couple of travels. Tonights numbers were 13 48 64. The scores were high! Tonight’s Lucky Star goes to Renee ! Welcome to the team. C U Next Wednesday
Badabing !

25th September 2019

At Clarence court The Session started at 7pm A dozen Eggs some cracked rolled into the filthy battery Pen. Warming, laying and Shooting drills started.
At 7.15 the Poultry husband was still clearing up water spills and putting away the equipment from the earlier Cocks coop.
Coach Jo Edwina Curry measured the eggs in to size.
The Old Cotswold Blue Legbars, Sarita, Laurie, Shirley, Ak, Dania and Di. Versus The Burford Browns in Black. Louise, Nancy, Fadi, Lisa, Gilly, Tulay. Lisa won the Jump but the black were the first to score. Fadi scrambled  her team into a omelet of players of who’s marking who. Don’t mess with the Coach! Tulay was poached by 2 players and got 3 free throws. One boiled in and 2 sunny side down. A.K got all her eggs in one basket. Game 1 to the Legbars. Game 2, new plan, Feddi Whisked herself into a soufflé. Louise was battery hemmed in. Coach Jo exchanged white to yoke swopping Lou and Sarita. Game 2 Blue. Shirley got 2 free range. Double yoke’ers! Dania pickled and devilled her eggs over easy. The Egg timer rang 8pm, we all meringue. The Blue Won Hens down!

18th September 2019

Yes it really was a fabulous session!

First some drills, which we managed to use later. Then 3 on 3 on 3 for a rolling game of defence and offence, then four on four.

Fedi, Dania, Lisa and Sally verses AK, Shirley, Rhonda & Andrea, some great passes, use of backboard (Lisa) and teamwork. AKs team managed to win by a basket as the whistle blew. Really fast game, some fabulous play by all, great coaching by Jo.

11th September

After being subjected to many years of insults – Shirley’s blue ball finally got the begrudging appreciation it deserved. As the ONLY ball 🏀 on court it’s services were called upon for the full hour.  So, the lesson that can be taken from this is : BRING YOUR OWN BALLS.
Great game Pinks were AK, Nancy, Gilly, Lisa, Blacks were Sarita, Andreea, Shirley and Josephine.

THe Wasp

4th September 2019

2 teams started warming up The Dixons of Dock Green Sally, Louise, Fadi, Shirley, versus The Great Red Train Robbers AK, Tulay, Dania and Gill. The Justice of the Peace blew the whistle and the game began. Ron Gill Briggs was the first to score followed by Buster A K Edwards.

The  Criminals were in the lead till Detective Shirley Demsey and Fedi Makepeace managed to arrest a basket. Sally and Tulay had a hand cuff situation. Green Ball. Sally played Columbo….theres one more thing.. as she popped the ball in the net. Game 1 to the Reds. Judge called Water break. Stasky passed to Dania Hutch who jumped a rolled the ball into the net. Inspector Morse wanted morse from Clouseau but Clouseau didn’t have a Clouseau, Gill was too fast. As was Ak. Glass houses. The Reds were wining.

Louise was fouled got 2 from the top of the Key stone cops but didn’t score. Game 3. Judge Jo swopped Gill for Lou. Lou turned to crime but crime didn’t pay, Lou turned her ankle. Gill got the green light and scored a promotion. On the last Shoot out the reds stole the show.

See you next Wednesday

28th August 2019

Tonights Cabaret started at 7pm. Sally Bowles blew the whistle at the KitKatKlub. The 2 teams
The Gold Coins, Gilda Gill, Laurie Krona, Nancy Dollar, Sarita Deniro Versus ,The Black Notes, Shirley Shekel, Lou Rupee, Euro Lisa, Stirling Tulay. All cashed up and ready to play the black were the first to raid the piggy bank. The Gold coins had a windfall of 4 in a row! The Blacks were losing money hand over fist, giving to charity and to the Zoneless. The big issue here was Shirley’s one arm bandit caught Laurie in the tummy.. Sorry!  Laurie won the pools with 2 baskets! Nancy popped her dollar. The Gold coins were building up revenue, ‘Who’s passing to me’ said Sarita De Niro. Lisa Euro was robbed! The Blacks cash machine was almost empty. Stirling Tulay paid out a few baskets. Lou Rupee cashed her ISA but the Gold coins were now playing the stock exchange they had Big money!  Gilda Gill added with a scratch card getting another quid from the tax free line.

Spondoolezzz! it was 8pm. Tonight jackpot winners without doubt The gold coins.

21st August 2019

My beautiful launderette.
Layups started at 7pm, Jo took us into weaves at 7.06. 2 teams  were formed at 7.21 and the hot cycle began.
The Brilliant whites in Black. Lisa, Andreea, Shirley Tulay and Laurie Versus the Stain Devils in Green. Louise, Sally, AK,Gill, Dania. Dot Cotton blew the whistle to start. Devil Ak and Sally were on fast wash, getting their undies in the laundry basket. 5 balls up before a Fairy called Lisa broke the cycle for the brilliant whites. First wash 7-1 Green stains. Game 2. The Spin. Dot shuffled the teams swopping Sally with Laurie. Shirley took a tumble dryer, while Sally’s ankle got caught in the wringer. Sarita came to the rescue with fag and black bib. The machines were now running on fast-spin. Andreea got out her dirty washing a direct hit to the laundry basket. Shirley ran to the dryers to score . Sarita was on extra Rinse. Laurie jumped out of the delicates and made a terrific basket. Gill passed and shot to the top of the ironing pile. Sally came back on full steam ahead. Tulay with Bold rebounding and anti crease. Andreea who thought she was out of conditioner made some terrific shots with Comfort. Stain Devil Dania removed stains we didn’t even know we’re there. There were free throws from the washing line for Lisa, Ak, Andreea and Shirley. OMO! Beep Beep it was 8pm The service wash was over. We had to vanish…Off to the airing cupboard.
See you all next Wednesday for more Bubbling BADA-BLING!

14th August 2019

Radio Ga Ga….We all tuned in to the BBC (Basket Ball Club) 19.04 DJ Jo formed 2 stations. Radio 1 ready to Play. Radio 2 Layups and stretches. Pirate Station Sarita broadcast from the side. Radio 3 Let the Chart Run down begin. The 2 teams in Black 5Live. Sally, Sarita, Tulay, Nancy and Shirley versus In Red Smooth Radio Louise, Dania, AK, Feddi and Laurie. AK dedicated the 1st tune to Dania from the jump, the first hit. Shirley was the next to spin the disk, making it 1 all. DAR DAR DAR DARDA DA DA DA…The Fed in Red knocked the Black off the top spot. Sarita played to Nancy, Scratch Nancy turned up the volume. DAR DAR DAR DA DADA DA DA DA…Dania got on the same wave length and the Red were leading. News Flash! The session 1 & 2 to Red. A quick Ad break session 3. DJ Jo changed Decks. Sally requested the ball. Shirley asked for a chart run down ‘who’s on who’. Was it a Hit or Miss ! DJ Jo called foul, Radio 2 from the top for Shirley. Talk Radio the Travel programme. The ball was taken from the side. Tulay fought hard under the basket but AK was this weeks number one Record. It was Reds Soul Night Out. DA DADADADAD DA DAR DAR DARD DAR …Hey Pop Pickers Tune in next week for more wireless fun on the court. This is Fluff signing off BFN